MY EYES ARE OPENED; I'VE BEEN SET FREE!!

I guess you could say that God has always been a part of my life. I attended Sunday School and Bible School regularly with my siblings...my mother saw fit that we stayed in church. It seemed as if I was at the altar a lot and when I knelt down to pray and ask forgiveness, my mind was already on the things I had to do when I got home. Pants and shorts were the first thing to go..I have torn up more pants than I can remember. I got rid of jewelry, makeup, and anything else that I had learned would "send me to hell".   I was determined to line up and become what God would have me become so that I could enter into my Heavenly Home. Being raised in what would be called a "judgmental" environment, I very carefully tried to control my ways so I would not be told that I was "backslidden" or hear, "I thought you were a Christian!" ( In case you haven't noticed, there are lots of "I's" in my last few sentences)....Living life in chains, trying to line up to what people said...and I stress people.  The problem?? I never once looked to the Bible and my Savior to see what He required of me. In fact, had I studied the Bible as I should have, instead of just reading my regular "chapter a night" at bedtime I would have seen the Truth...the real Truth! What I believed at the time and what the Bible teaches are two different things.
As you can probably imagine from what I have told you, my life as a young girl trying to live a Christian life was miserable. Doing what I was told to do with no scripture to back it up would become very confusing to me. Where was the joy??  the freedom???  When you are so concerned with trying to line up to someone else's way of life, there is no joy! Thus came the discouragement, followed by the backsliding, and on and on and on.
I guess most of my life, I have desired God, but felt I could not live up to such high standards. As an adult, I gave my life once more to the Lord, but was determined to go only by scriptures and listen to only what God has to tell me..not people. I began seeking out and reading the scriptures for Truth...real Truth!  It didn't take long for me to figure out that I had the whole story wrong. Never in the scriptures did I find all of the things that I was raised to believe would get me to Heaven.  And what I did find just blew me away! God expects us to give our all to Him...totally, completely to rest in Him. He will take care of the rest. When we ask God to forgive us for our sins we have committed, we can rest assured that He will lead us in the right path. Jesus did not go to the cross to condemn us and to make us into robots that moved at His command. He died to give us freedom and eternal life. All we have to do is give our all to Him and be as close to Him as we possibly can!
My chains fell off! I realized that serving God is freedom, not bondage..Christ gave His life so we could be free!
As an adult, I see churches that are so strict that you are looked down on for wearing pants, or rings, or cutting your hair. I see Christians who are so cold since they gave their life to God, but were the friendliest people before they got saved. Oh, don't get me wrong...they still go through the "motions" but for the most part are so judgmental and stuck up that you have to struggle to get a smile out of them.
On the other hand, there are churches who accept anything and the only change you see in people's life is that they sit in church on Sunday morning. The rest of their life is exactly the same. They may feel they are as close to God without truly turning all over to Him.
So with all of this I say..read the scriptures...take time out of your day to seek out the real truth! We will be judged by the scriptures and by what God reveals to us only. You will find such a freedom as you start to open up the real plan of salvation! We should all take the "what would Jesus do?" motto seriously. If before we act, we stop and think of how it affects others, we would truly see a difference in our life.
Some people say that God doesn't hear a sinners prayer and that I believe..but I know that Jesus is here to intercede for us and walks among us hear on earth. He heard my prayer when I was still a sinner and healed me of fibromyalgia, when I wasn't expecting it. After healing me, He asked me to follow Him and I have. When you read and learn of the life of Jesus, you will see that this is exactly how He did it in the new testament. He healed with love, drawing others to Him!  He is the great physician, both physically and spiritually. Thank you, God!
Serving God is a privilege! Although I do not deserve anything that He has given me, I am so thankful that He saw fit to give me the opportunity to live for Him!

What Exactly Do They Mean By "Normal"?

Working in retail, I get the opportunity to meet all kinds of people.  I love working in the public and feel like I am a much richer person for it. (no pun intended).  Shortly after I started my job, I began to notice how very different people are.  I have seen a thirty some year old woman that only has the mind of a 7 or 8 year old, the old man that could not even hear what I was saying and if he could, he couldn't understand what I was saying, the woman in the wheelchair that sits outside and waits for someone to open the door so that she can come in, and the woman that has two children to hold on to and doesn't act as if she could control just one of them....to only name a few.  This has gotten me thinking...what exactly is normal and who decides who is "normal" and who isn't?  One may say that a man and a woman with  two children, a modest home, and two good jobs is normal.....or that a professional with lots of money, their own place, and a fancy car is normal.  One also may think that the overweight and "under-beautiful" person is considered abnormal.  Myself, I am here to say that I disagree with this.  Since there is not a book that tells us what the conditions for being normal are, and they don't teach a class in what is normal and abnormal as far as life goes, I am here to say that I think that all people are normal.  I am not quite sure why we started looking at other people as if they are "different", "abnormal", or a "spectacle",  but in todays society this has become common practice.  I pray that God show me to look at people not for their differences but for their likenesses.  We are all created by God, human beings, and each one of us are special in our own way.  Each one of us has a purpose lest the life that we lead be in vain.  No, we are not exact replicas of each other but how much more pretty is two roses when you add a group of different flowers in the vase...what a variety!

"Fear Not For I Am With Thee"

It is so amazing how the everyday things that we encounter can teach us lessons when we least expect it.  Today after giving Madison and Kelly their baths, I attempted to get one of those nice hot showers that usually do not go uninterrupted.  This time would be no different than any other as I heard a blood curdling scream coming from Kelly Jo out in the hallway.  I got out, unlocked the door, and she burst into my arms crying and saying that Nathan was scaring her.  Trying to not over-react, I told her that it was ok, because she could scare him back and make him run from her.  After we finished talking of different things she could do to get him back, she ran out laughing, ready to meet her attacker.  I heard Nathan scream, smiled, and continued on with my shower, this time not locking the door.  Two minutes later she burst through the door, screaming loudly, and tried to climb in the shower with me.  This time I hollered out to Nathan and told him to stop!  I sent her out into the hall, into his arms, and thankfully (but quickly) finished my shower.

And then it happened!............God began revealing to me another lesson, one that made so much sense to me and actually made me feel pretty ashamed.
How many times in life has Satan hounded me, scared me, even terrified me with worries and things of this world.  I, like Kelly, go running to God, crying about how scared I am.  God comforts me, gives me  His promises from the Bible, and I am off...to fight anything that may get in my way.  But before long the things of this world are once again on me, overwhelming me, and I find myself back on my knees crying out to God for guidance, usually more fervantly than the first time as Satan always comes back stronger when you are standing on God's promises.  Once again, God comforts me and tells me to not be afraid and I go on.
I then thought of how frustrating it was for me, as a mother, to not be able to convince Kelly that I would take care of everything and that she has no reason to be afraid of something so minor.  This is where the shame comes in...Looking at it from this point of view, I am pretty ashamed that I keep running to God with such minor things and don't even remember that this is the One who raised the dead, healed the sick, created the world, and still considers every lily that has ever been planted on the earth!  All I can say, with my whole heart is, "I will try harder, Lord~I will try harder!"

Sticks And Stones May Break My Bones, But What????

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."  I wish I had a dollar for every time I heard or said this is my 48 years.  Lately I have been thinking about this and wondering what kind of a person would ever say such a thing.  Let's look at it from three different points of view.
Number one, let's take a child; a child that is constantly told that they aren't worth anything.  Hearing this day in and day out has finally forever cemented in this child's head that they are a nobody.  What are the results of this? It results in an adult that feels like they are worth nothing.  And, sadly, sometimes it doesn't stop there.  This adult  sometimes passes these words on to their children or spouse, and these words that were started by one person affect many.
Number two, let's take a woman about to get married...raised in a good home, but due to bad choices, she marries a man that constantly puts her down.  She can do nothing right, according to him and she is constantly criticized for pretty much anything she does.  She is either too fat, too skinny, too ugly, too short, an awful cook, a bad lover, terrible mother...the list is endless.  Because of this she can never be the woman that she was meant to be.  Afraid that others will see her awful attributes, she makes no friends, and of course could not go so far as to get a job and be in the public..how could she ever be successful.
Number three, let's take a student who is trying so hard to keep his grades up, but is struggling beyond belief.  What may take one hour of homework a night for other students, takes him four or five.  Striving to be the same as anyone else, he just wants to make average grades to stay above water, but feels he is sinking under the weight of it all.  Unfortunately, this student has gotten a teacher that sees his grades as failure.  Not once does this teacher take time out of his busy schedule to help this student catch up.  Instead, he is pegged as a lazy, no good, who should be held back because he doesn't care about his grades.  No reason to include him in the classroom activities; He's too stupid to understand anyway. The student's point of view?  No reason to finish school and college is out of the question.  A job?  Who would hire someone who can't even make it through school?
These are only three examples of what a few insults can do to a person...the tongue is surely sharper than any two-edged sword, that's for sure.  If anyone wants to take up a challenge, see how many people in one day that you can send a compliment too, whether it be a stranger or picking up the phone to tell someone how much they are appreciated.  You'd be surprised how much better you feel doing it too...what a reward!!

Live Only By The Word

While growing up, I attended church with my family every Sunday.  While sometimes I didn't listen attentively, I did always listen to what was being preached or taught to us in Sunday School.  I am sorry to say,  though, that I never questioned any of what I was being taught, but assumed it was Biblical.  As an adult, with children watching my every move, I have now found myself in a spot of utter confusion.  The question that has placed me in this predicament is, "Where does it say this in the Bible?"  Now there are some things that are pretty obvious and very easy to understand, such as the Ten Commandments...pretty clear that you don't kill, steal, commit adultry, etc.  But questions I can't answer?  Where does it say you have to have long hair, wear only long dresses, don't wear jewelry, don't watch tv, don't buy on Sunday?  (to only name a few)  I am seeing so much more clearly that it is this confusion that has kept me from picking up my Bible lately and delving into the wonderful truths that God has for us...the many promises that He offers.  I am starting to see things more clearly now and as I lay in bed early this morning I cried out to God to rid me of the confusion that seems to be around my devotional time.  Here is what I am going to do.  I asked God to be my translator, no one else.  I was shone that serving God is a very personal experience that should be worked out with you and God alone.  I honestly believe that what one person does, I may not be able to do and vice versa.  There is far too much judgement on the earth right now, when the one and only Judge sits on His throne above.  What peace comes when we rely on the Word of God to light our paths and listen for His sweet voice to tell us what to do.  I am sorry to say that at times I have felt like an awful person because I have not been able to line up to what people thought I should be.  Now I realize that it was during these times that I was pushing my "beliefs", which I could not back up with the Word of God, onto other people.  Wow!  what confusion that must have caused!  Yes, I do believe that you have to be born-again to see the kingdom of God...but does that mean that you have to live a life so in bondage to how you were raised?  I think not.  Thank God for my children, who have questioned, "So, Mom, you don't think I can be a Christian and wear jeans?"  or "Where does it say that in the Bible, Mom?"  I think by hanging on to some of the standards that I have hung on to, I have missed out on the one thing that matters most of all...clinging to the Word of God for every day guidance and living by that alone.  Now, I can point them to that Word, the one that never changes, even though people have tried to do away with it all together.  And hopefully, with God's help and with an open heart, I can learn what God would have me to learn.

A Matter of Taste

I remember as a child, (and also as an adult) buying a bag of mixed candy, whether it be jelly beans, taffy, or candy bars, and picking out my favorite ones to eat first.   They tasted soooo good!  After they were all gone, I would pick my second favorite kind and would munch on them til they were gone.  Over the next few days, this would continue until there was only one kind left in the bag...you know what I mean...the "yucky" ones that no one likes.  Amazing how that last flavor of candy starts to sound good to you when there is nothing else left in the bag.
This morning, as I was thinking of what to have for supper this evening, I thought of the turkey meat that we had in the refrigerator and of how tired we are of eating turkey, ham, bacon...the meats that Tom can buy from the meat plant store that he works in.  I yearned for old fashioned "hamburger" meat...something that doesn't come from a pig.  It didn't take but a few seconds of this before I was shaming myself.  I started to see those people who have no food to eat or those who wonder where their next meal will come from.
It was this that brought back the candy incident.  I realized that food is highly overrated!  While it should be only for nutrition (and some enjoyment I guess), I could see the many times that I had pushed food away because we had another food that was more appealing at the time....But when it was down to only that kind of food, it sounds pretty inviting.
So I have chosen to try an experiment...now anyone who knows me knows that I usually can't follow through with my experiments, but they sound good on paper.  For one week, I am going to try to eat the foods on my plate that I don't care for first.  I am going to try to get into the state of mind that food is for nutrition and not to just scarf down the things we like first, only to eat the rest later.  What do I want to accomplish by this?  I want to learn to appreciate food for what it is...a source to help us stay alive.  Also, I want to quit being so picky and to think more of those who don't have always what "sounds good" to them. Hopefully, I can extend this more than a week...we'll see.  Here goes nothing!!!

What Has Happened To My Clock?

I remember as a child going out into the dirt with little cars and making a whole village.  I had roads that led to my imaginary store, my house, the laundromat, and oh yes, roads that led to nowhere.  I could spend hours doing this until it got dark and it was time to come in for the night.  I also remember laying out in the back yard looking up at the clouds and wondering what Heaven was like and envisioning things in the clouds.  Another favorite of mine was riding my bike down the hill, down the lane, and back up to the garage, with all of my imaginary places in between...stopping for gas, going to the store, etc.  Now I am an adult, with 7 children of my own and I have watched each of them playing, whether it be alone or together.  But something has happened in the time between my childhood and now...my clocks don't seem to be working right.  The clock that ran so slowly as a child and gave me a full afternoon of fun and adventure suddenly has quickened its pace and it seems as if I don't have any time for anything.  Many times I have felt like the end of the day has arrived and I haven't accomplished half of what I want to get done.  It's pretty easy to accomplish tasks, like dishes, or the house, or the job; but where is the time to slow down and just enjoy my family?  If I had one wish right now, I would wish for a whole month of nothing but spending time with my husband and kids...doing the things they like to do.  But most importantly, I would listen, listen closely to each of their likes and dislikes, their jokes, what makes them cry, what makes them laugh.  I feel as if I am missing out on so much of their lives and they are growing up way too quickly.

So............about this clock.............is there any way that I can get this fixed?  Is there any way that we can slow things down and I can just hear my kids laugh, cry, and talk together?  Sometime I feel like yelling, "stop the world and let us off!  Let  us enjoy each other for awhile without the hustle and bustle of everyones lives; without the full schedules that we all seem to hold.