"Fear Not For I Am With Thee"

It is so amazing how the everyday things that we encounter can teach us lessons when we least expect it.  Today after giving Madison and Kelly their baths, I attempted to get one of those nice hot showers that usually do not go uninterrupted.  This time would be no different than any other as I heard a blood curdling scream coming from Kelly Jo out in the hallway.  I got out, unlocked the door, and she burst into my arms crying and saying that Nathan was scaring her.  Trying to not over-react, I told her that it was ok, because she could scare him back and make him run from her.  After we finished talking of different things she could do to get him back, she ran out laughing, ready to meet her attacker.  I heard Nathan scream, smiled, and continued on with my shower, this time not locking the door.  Two minutes later she burst through the door, screaming loudly, and tried to climb in the shower with me.  This time I hollered out to Nathan and told him to stop!  I sent her out into the hall, into his arms, and thankfully (but quickly) finished my shower.

And then it happened!............God began revealing to me another lesson, one that made so much sense to me and actually made me feel pretty ashamed.
How many times in life has Satan hounded me, scared me, even terrified me with worries and things of this world.  I, like Kelly, go running to God, crying about how scared I am.  God comforts me, gives me  His promises from the Bible, and I am off...to fight anything that may get in my way.  But before long the things of this world are once again on me, overwhelming me, and I find myself back on my knees crying out to God for guidance, usually more fervantly than the first time as Satan always comes back stronger when you are standing on God's promises.  Once again, God comforts me and tells me to not be afraid and I go on.
I then thought of how frustrating it was for me, as a mother, to not be able to convince Kelly that I would take care of everything and that she has no reason to be afraid of something so minor.  This is where the shame comes in...Looking at it from this point of view, I am pretty ashamed that I keep running to God with such minor things and don't even remember that this is the One who raised the dead, healed the sick, created the world, and still considers every lily that has ever been planted on the earth!  All I can say, with my whole heart is, "I will try harder, Lord~I will try harder!"

Sticks And Stones May Break My Bones, But What????

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."  I wish I had a dollar for every time I heard or said this is my 48 years.  Lately I have been thinking about this and wondering what kind of a person would ever say such a thing.  Let's look at it from three different points of view.
Number one, let's take a child; a child that is constantly told that they aren't worth anything.  Hearing this day in and day out has finally forever cemented in this child's head that they are a nobody.  What are the results of this? It results in an adult that feels like they are worth nothing.  And, sadly, sometimes it doesn't stop there.  This adult  sometimes passes these words on to their children or spouse, and these words that were started by one person affect many.
Number two, let's take a woman about to get married...raised in a good home, but due to bad choices, she marries a man that constantly puts her down.  She can do nothing right, according to him and she is constantly criticized for pretty much anything she does.  She is either too fat, too skinny, too ugly, too short, an awful cook, a bad lover, terrible mother...the list is endless.  Because of this she can never be the woman that she was meant to be.  Afraid that others will see her awful attributes, she makes no friends, and of course could not go so far as to get a job and be in the public..how could she ever be successful.
Number three, let's take a student who is trying so hard to keep his grades up, but is struggling beyond belief.  What may take one hour of homework a night for other students, takes him four or five.  Striving to be the same as anyone else, he just wants to make average grades to stay above water, but feels he is sinking under the weight of it all.  Unfortunately, this student has gotten a teacher that sees his grades as failure.  Not once does this teacher take time out of his busy schedule to help this student catch up.  Instead, he is pegged as a lazy, no good, who should be held back because he doesn't care about his grades.  No reason to include him in the classroom activities; He's too stupid to understand anyway. The student's point of view?  No reason to finish school and college is out of the question.  A job?  Who would hire someone who can't even make it through school?
These are only three examples of what a few insults can do to a person...the tongue is surely sharper than any two-edged sword, that's for sure.  If anyone wants to take up a challenge, see how many people in one day that you can send a compliment too, whether it be a stranger or picking up the phone to tell someone how much they are appreciated.  You'd be surprised how much better you feel doing it too...what a reward!!

Live Only By The Word

While growing up, I attended church with my family every Sunday.  While sometimes I didn't listen attentively, I did always listen to what was being preached or taught to us in Sunday School.  I am sorry to say,  though, that I never questioned any of what I was being taught, but assumed it was Biblical.  As an adult, with children watching my every move, I have now found myself in a spot of utter confusion.  The question that has placed me in this predicament is, "Where does it say this in the Bible?"  Now there are some things that are pretty obvious and very easy to understand, such as the Ten Commandments...pretty clear that you don't kill, steal, commit adultry, etc.  But questions I can't answer?  Where does it say you have to have long hair, wear only long dresses, don't wear jewelry, don't watch tv, don't buy on Sunday?  (to only name a few)  I am seeing so much more clearly that it is this confusion that has kept me from picking up my Bible lately and delving into the wonderful truths that God has for us...the many promises that He offers.  I am starting to see things more clearly now and as I lay in bed early this morning I cried out to God to rid me of the confusion that seems to be around my devotional time.  Here is what I am going to do.  I asked God to be my translator, no one else.  I was shone that serving God is a very personal experience that should be worked out with you and God alone.  I honestly believe that what one person does, I may not be able to do and vice versa.  There is far too much judgement on the earth right now, when the one and only Judge sits on His throne above.  What peace comes when we rely on the Word of God to light our paths and listen for His sweet voice to tell us what to do.  I am sorry to say that at times I have felt like an awful person because I have not been able to line up to what people thought I should be.  Now I realize that it was during these times that I was pushing my "beliefs", which I could not back up with the Word of God, onto other people.  Wow!  what confusion that must have caused!  Yes, I do believe that you have to be born-again to see the kingdom of God...but does that mean that you have to live a life so in bondage to how you were raised?  I think not.  Thank God for my children, who have questioned, "So, Mom, you don't think I can be a Christian and wear jeans?"  or "Where does it say that in the Bible, Mom?"  I think by hanging on to some of the standards that I have hung on to, I have missed out on the one thing that matters most of all...clinging to the Word of God for every day guidance and living by that alone.  Now, I can point them to that Word, the one that never changes, even though people have tried to do away with it all together.  And hopefully, with God's help and with an open heart, I can learn what God would have me to learn.

A Matter of Taste

I remember as a child, (and also as an adult) buying a bag of mixed candy, whether it be jelly beans, taffy, or candy bars, and picking out my favorite ones to eat first.   They tasted soooo good!  After they were all gone, I would pick my second favorite kind and would munch on them til they were gone.  Over the next few days, this would continue until there was only one kind left in the bag...you know what I mean...the "yucky" ones that no one likes.  Amazing how that last flavor of candy starts to sound good to you when there is nothing else left in the bag.
This morning, as I was thinking of what to have for supper this evening, I thought of the turkey meat that we had in the refrigerator and of how tired we are of eating turkey, ham, bacon...the meats that Tom can buy from the meat plant store that he works in.  I yearned for old fashioned "hamburger" meat...something that doesn't come from a pig.  It didn't take but a few seconds of this before I was shaming myself.  I started to see those people who have no food to eat or those who wonder where their next meal will come from.
It was this that brought back the candy incident.  I realized that food is highly overrated!  While it should be only for nutrition (and some enjoyment I guess), I could see the many times that I had pushed food away because we had another food that was more appealing at the time....But when it was down to only that kind of food, it sounds pretty inviting.
So I have chosen to try an experiment...now anyone who knows me knows that I usually can't follow through with my experiments, but they sound good on paper.  For one week, I am going to try to eat the foods on my plate that I don't care for first.  I am going to try to get into the state of mind that food is for nutrition and not to just scarf down the things we like first, only to eat the rest later.  What do I want to accomplish by this?  I want to learn to appreciate food for what it is...a source to help us stay alive.  Also, I want to quit being so picky and to think more of those who don't have always what "sounds good" to them. Hopefully, I can extend this more than a week...we'll see.  Here goes nothing!!!

What Has Happened To My Clock?

I remember as a child going out into the dirt with little cars and making a whole village.  I had roads that led to my imaginary store, my house, the laundromat, and oh yes, roads that led to nowhere.  I could spend hours doing this until it got dark and it was time to come in for the night.  I also remember laying out in the back yard looking up at the clouds and wondering what Heaven was like and envisioning things in the clouds.  Another favorite of mine was riding my bike down the hill, down the lane, and back up to the garage, with all of my imaginary places in between...stopping for gas, going to the store, etc.  Now I am an adult, with 7 children of my own and I have watched each of them playing, whether it be alone or together.  But something has happened in the time between my childhood and now...my clocks don't seem to be working right.  The clock that ran so slowly as a child and gave me a full afternoon of fun and adventure suddenly has quickened its pace and it seems as if I don't have any time for anything.  Many times I have felt like the end of the day has arrived and I haven't accomplished half of what I want to get done.  It's pretty easy to accomplish tasks, like dishes, or the house, or the job; but where is the time to slow down and just enjoy my family?  If I had one wish right now, I would wish for a whole month of nothing but spending time with my husband and kids...doing the things they like to do.  But most importantly, I would listen, listen closely to each of their likes and dislikes, their jokes, what makes them cry, what makes them laugh.  I feel as if I am missing out on so much of their lives and they are growing up way too quickly.

So............about this clock.............is there any way that I can get this fixed?  Is there any way that we can slow things down and I can just hear my kids laugh, cry, and talk together?  Sometime I feel like yelling, "stop the world and let us off!  Let  us enjoy each other for awhile without the hustle and bustle of everyones lives; without the full schedules that we all seem to hold.

The Perfect Body

Most people, men and women alike, strive to achieve the perfect body.  But who really knows what the perfect body is?  Well, finally, after 48 years, I think I have found the answer.  I would love to take credit for it, but it was my 19 year old daughter, Amber, that showed me how to find the answer.  Amber was born with spina-bifida, a condition where the spine doesn't close, causing several conditions including paralysis, bowel and bladder problems, fluid on the brain, to just name a few.  I have watched, in awe, as she has completed anything that she has set out to do, no matter how hard it seems to be for her.  I remember when she was in kindergarten and she came home upset because they were doing the "bunny hop" at school and she couldn't hop.  I very carefully, but quickly, came up with an answer for her..."You aren't supposed to walk."  She looked up at me with a puzzled look and I continued, "When you were born, they told us you would never walk or crawl, so I don't think you are able to hop."  The rest of the evening, I watched as a very determined 5 year old with leg braces on struggled to lift both feet off of the ground, until bedtime, only to awaken in the morning and continue her quest.  Well, her hard work paid off, because by classtime that day, she was doing the bunny hop...what a marvelously strong little girl!  I have watched this little girl grow into a beautiful young woman, enduring more than I have endured in my 48 years, wishing more than a thousand times that I could take this from her.  One day as her and I were driving in our van, I asked her the question, "Amber, have you ever thought of going to a church and having a minister pray for you to be healed?"  She answered quickly, without much thought, "Why would I do that?"  I guess she noticed the loss for words I had and she continued, "God doesn't make mistakes, Mom.  He made me just the way I am because He wanted me this way."  WOW!  She had answered a question that I had never been able to answer...What is the perfect body?  The perfect body is JUST THE WAY GOD MADE YOU!  When a person gets his mind off of such insignificant things, and is happy in themself, living day to day becomes much simpler.  Thank you, Amber, for yet another lesson I have learned from you!  Love you dearly!

Never a Dull Moment

 Although raising seven children must seem pretty nerve-wracking to some, I consider myself very privileged to have a house- full.  With the magnificent crew that I have, I look forward to each day with anticipation of what will happen next.  Each one of my kids are special to me each in their own way and I am not sure how I could survive without them.  Sure we have days where it seems like everyone got up on the wrong side of the bed and we are quite a grouchy bunch, but with the two youngest ones around, who can stay grouchy for long??  They always seem to do something that makes us laugh, from dancing in front of the tv in the middle of a movie, to having full conversations together on the couch, as a two and four year old can do, and not realizing that we are giggling at them.  But always at the end of the night, they melt our heart by climbing up on someones lap and putting their little arms around your neck and saying, "I love you".  This usually happens to be the one that is playing with them when they start to get sleepy.  I look at some of the things that they, Madison and Kelly, have done lately; like catching them in the bathroom with Kelly brushing her teeth in the sink and Madison brushing hers in the toilet, to getting into the spices and dumping them out in the cabinet pretending they are cooking...Yes, some of it can be irritating, especially cleaning up the messes, as the older kids will testify to.  But one of these days I'm sure we will all look back and yearn for the time they were this little again.  I know this for a fact, as I look back to when the older ones were this age; seems like only yesterday!  Thank you, God for such a good group of kids and may they all grow up instilled with the love and closeness of our "never-a-dull-moment family"!

The Last Lesson My Father Taught Me

The last lesson that my father ever taught me was the hardest lesson I ever had to learn.  It wasn't until the day that I lost my Dad...March 2, 2009 that I realized just how precious life really is; and the more time that goes by without my father, the more I appreciate the family that I have left.  Little did I know, growing up as a child, that there would come a time that I would never be able to hug him, hear his voice, or have him comfort me when I cried.  It just seemed like that was something that would never happen.  We have just recently passed the two year mark since I lost him, and I can honestly say, this has changed my life forever.   We never know when we talk to someone whether or not this will be the last time that we will see them alive.  It has made me look at everything differently.  Thanks, Dad!  I love you!

Stay Positively Positive~

I guess if I could say one statement that I try to live by it is to stay positive...I try to find the positive in everything and to forget the things that I see as negative...Life seems to be like a rollercoaster...up then down, up then down,...(or I guess I should say down then up, down then up), so even though we hit places in our life when it seems we can't see any light, we can know that it too will pass, and the light will shine through again.  Pushing anything negative out of my life as helped me tremendously~maybe it is a coping mechanism for me, but regardless of why I do it, it seems to work for me.  My life changed completely when I decided to let go of all the hurt and anger I held within and start living my life for myself, my husband, and my kids...what a freedom!  I realize how precious life is, consider it a gift from God, and want to savour every moment of it....Can I instill this in each one of my children?  I hope so!  Life is good!